Today was a pretty chill day. I went to work and since it was a friday i worked a morning shift. 10 to 2 baby... and i went to go pick up Marvelous (my gf). We came back home and chilled for a minute. I received i notice in the mail from the food stamp ppl telling me that i had to reapply for the stamps so i went over to my moms house to take care of some business.
I know you might be thinking... why does my title say what it does. Well to make a long story short marvelous broke a monogamous agreement. In the beginning she came to me saying that she wasnt ready for a relationship but she thought that we shouldnt see other ppl. So i let go of all of my dudes that i was seeing and i thought she did too. After a month of "seeing" each other she asked me to be her gf. I was already in love with her and she knew it, I told her. I am one of those ppl that says whats on my mind. I never want to be like damn what if this or what if that....so i told her. She loved me but it was a different kind...she had love for me but it wasnt like mine. Because if that i was really ready to give up on her. Her xgf remained in the picture. Eboni is her name.... eboni would call her and text her all tpes of the night and i told marv that i didnt like it and she would have to stop. HOWEVER, marv told her different. Marv told her that they couldnt talk as much but she still let her call. 9 months into the relationship i found out that eboni's recent gf works with me at enterprise...her name is joi. Well joi kind of hinted to me that they(eboni and marv) had sex when me and marv had the "agreement". MAN, when i found out the truth (after marv cried to me telling me that she never fucked eboni and how it was wrong of me to believe eboni and joi over her)i was soooooo hurt. I still am honestly.... this has taken a toll on me in ways that i never thought. Im so insecure. I always think she is talking to eboni or texting her. When i asked marv why did she do that to me she said, "i wanted to see if i still had feelings for eboni" hummmm.... that still bothers me. Honestly i think she still loved her. Who needs to have with someone to figure out if they still had feelings for them? I had found a email from marv to eboni back in dec of 07 saying that she still loved her and hated to see her with joi.... hummm... then she meets me in feb 08 but she says no feelings are there. The day she fucked eboni i was at work....it was a friday. She went to go get her dreads retwisted and then eboni picked her up from her friends house. That really hurt me because not only was she getting ready to fuck eboni but her friends knew it. When eboni took her to the dorms...eboni kissed her (tounge) and asked her could she get her into the dorms....marv called her teammates and had them sneak eboni into her room.....they fucked. Marv says that she made eboni cum but when eboni started to do her...she stopped her. When everything was done..eboni got up and left. Marv always spent every weekend with me so im sure i went to go pick her up and marv was all in my face after sucking on eboni's pussy....talk about feelings being hurt. Two days later, i was on the phone with marv and she got off the phone with me to "go study" a couple of hours later i called her but she didnt answer. She called me back but guess who she was with? EBONI!!!! Eboni stayed over till 1 that morning when marv called me back she started to apologize...i asked her what were they talking about and she said they talked about me and her relationship and eboni and joi's relationship. But what marv didnt tell me was that she went and told eboni that i was inlove with her but she wasnt inlove with me....and that she didnt know what she wanted....AND marv didnt tell me that they talked about them fucking!!! she said it was closure. I went 10 months into this relationship thinking they never did nothing.....only to find out from some1 else that they did in fact fuck. Just recently Eboni came to me and said, "yeah marv said that you were just a side thing, u loved her more than she loved you and blah blah blah" i was hurt and bad!!!! Marv gave this chick the gun to come shoot me with! it was crazy....
Just now we are starting to pull things together and try to work it out but sometimes i ask myself is it worth it? How much do i have to go through to be happy in the end? Things are looking better and right now at this point i would say that im happy but i did make a promised to myself that i will never go through this again. Not even with marv. I didnt sign up for this...but the thing that gets me thinking is...is this what love is about being hurt? i know no one is perfect but do you things out for the sake of love or do you give up only to be heartbroken by someone else? im not sure but i will be happy today.
I know you might be thinking... why does my title say what it does. Well to make a long story short marvelous broke a monogamous agreement. In the beginning she came to me saying that she wasnt ready for a relationship but she thought that we shouldnt see other ppl. So i let go of all of my dudes that i was seeing and i thought she did too. After a month of "seeing" each other she asked me to be her gf. I was already in love with her and she knew it, I told her. I am one of those ppl that says whats on my mind. I never want to be like damn what if this or what if that....so i told her. She loved me but it was a different kind...she had love for me but it wasnt like mine. Because if that i was really ready to give up on her. Her xgf remained in the picture. Eboni is her name.... eboni would call her and text her all tpes of the night and i told marv that i didnt like it and she would have to stop. HOWEVER, marv told her different. Marv told her that they couldnt talk as much but she still let her call. 9 months into the relationship i found out that eboni's recent gf works with me at enterprise...her name is joi. Well joi kind of hinted to me that they(eboni and marv) had sex when me and marv had the "agreement". MAN, when i found out the truth (after marv cried to me telling me that she never fucked eboni and how it was wrong of me to believe eboni and joi over her)i was soooooo hurt. I still am honestly.... this has taken a toll on me in ways that i never thought. Im so insecure. I always think she is talking to eboni or texting her. When i asked marv why did she do that to me she said, "i wanted to see if i still had feelings for eboni" hummmm.... that still bothers me. Honestly i think she still loved her. Who needs to have with someone to figure out if they still had feelings for them? I had found a email from marv to eboni back in dec of 07 saying that she still loved her and hated to see her with joi.... hummm... then she meets me in feb 08 but she says no feelings are there. The day she fucked eboni i was at work....it was a friday. She went to go get her dreads retwisted and then eboni picked her up from her friends house. That really hurt me because not only was she getting ready to fuck eboni but her friends knew it. When eboni took her to the dorms...eboni kissed her (tounge) and asked her could she get her into the dorms....marv called her teammates and had them sneak eboni into her room.....they fucked. Marv says that she made eboni cum but when eboni started to do her...she stopped her. When everything was done..eboni got up and left. Marv always spent every weekend with me so im sure i went to go pick her up and marv was all in my face after sucking on eboni's pussy....talk about feelings being hurt. Two days later, i was on the phone with marv and she got off the phone with me to "go study" a couple of hours later i called her but she didnt answer. She called me back but guess who she was with? EBONI!!!! Eboni stayed over till 1 that morning when marv called me back she started to apologize...i asked her what were they talking about and she said they talked about me and her relationship and eboni and joi's relationship. But what marv didnt tell me was that she went and told eboni that i was inlove with her but she wasnt inlove with me....and that she didnt know what she wanted....AND marv didnt tell me that they talked about them fucking!!! she said it was closure. I went 10 months into this relationship thinking they never did nothing.....only to find out from some1 else that they did in fact fuck. Just recently Eboni came to me and said, "yeah marv said that you were just a side thing, u loved her more than she loved you and blah blah blah" i was hurt and bad!!!! Marv gave this chick the gun to come shoot me with! it was crazy....
Just now we are starting to pull things together and try to work it out but sometimes i ask myself is it worth it? How much do i have to go through to be happy in the end? Things are looking better and right now at this point i would say that im happy but i did make a promised to myself that i will never go through this again. Not even with marv. I didnt sign up for this...but the thing that gets me thinking is...is this what love is about being hurt? i know no one is perfect but do you things out for the sake of love or do you give up only to be heartbroken by someone else? im not sure but i will be happy today.
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ReplyDeleteWelcome to the BlogSpot! First of all, I swear I understand what you mean about Marv giving Eboni the gun to shoot you with. When I was with Mr.NYC, I confided in him about my "distaste with living" and it was a really emotional time for me! A bitch didnt wanna be here, you feel me? So I confided in him and on my birthday I found out from snooping on the pc (on my birthday, I repeat) that he was still messing with her. But what blew me out the water was when she called my phone (meaning he gave her my damn number) and told me "you shouldnt tell Mr.NYC about things like that because it makes it seem like youre desperately trying to keep him by any means necessary". Can you imagine how pissed and hurt I was? Like...that shit was personal you know? So I feel you. But as for being happy in the end...i dont even think that shit is realistic unless you go outside of what you typically would go for. I think you have to find someone youre comfortable with but dont seem to love and allow that 'like' to grow to 'love'
ReplyDeletemy friend (she might join theblog) said that you're right about that-the fact that if its not one person then shit its another one. you have to decide if youre going to put up with this person or the next one.
ReplyDelete